Hubbarton, VT, Man claims to have video of Bigfoot ravaging his apple orchard

Stay on your toes, Frisky readers in Vermont: a “self-described Sasquatch researcher” claims he has video of Bigfoot ravaging his apple orchard … on the same day scientists say that Bigfoot may actually exist. Spoooooky.
First, the alleged Bigfoot sighting in Vermont: Frank Siecienski of Hubbarton, VT, claims to have video of Bigfoot and its young scaring away a coyote in his apple orchard. Siecienski thought deers deer were eating all his apples, so he set up a videocamera to tape the orchard overnight. Instead of hungry deer, he claims his new video depicts a seven-foot-tall Bigfoot. (The Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife, party poopers that they are, say his video footage just looks like an owl. Which is also kinda true. I vote for a possible Bigfoot Hoax redux.)

But turns out Siecienski might not be totally crazy: a team of researchers has just put forth a study, currently under peer review, claiming that Bigfoot might really exist. “Extensive DNA sequencing suggests that the legendary Sasquatch is a human relative that arose approximately 15,000 years ago as a hybrid cross of modern Homo sapiens with an unknown primate species,” according to a press release from the researchers (who are not affiliated with any institute of higher learning).

You can read all the blah blah blah details about Bigfoot DNA, but the crux of the issue is this: BIGFOOT IS COMING TO EAT YOU.