CONFIRMED: BIGFOOT FOUND IN SIBERIA (Humor)

 

 

 

 

 

 

TASHTAGOL, Russia – The Wall Street Journal confirmed today that Bigfoot hunters had found the beast in Siberia.
The Wall Street Journal reported today that Russian Bigfoot Hunters found evidence of Bigfoot in  a cave in Siberia.
In a cave, Anatoly Fokin looked at hair samples and muddy footprints.  “I found some hair, some real hair,” he said, pulling the strands apart. “And here there are more—maybe it was a girl.”
Fokin says he found evidence that Bigfoot may have had a “girlfriend” with him.  Whether the girlfriend was human or beast – was not clear.  “But they clearly had ‘fun’ in the cave,” said Fokin.

The Wall Street Journal sent reporters to Siberia to follow-up on WWN’s report on Russian boxer Nikolai Valuev, who has led a hunt for Bigfoot in Siberia.  READ THE STORY HERE.
Mr. Fokin, dropped his full-time work as an architect to join Valuev on the hunt.  Immediately after he entered the cave, Fokin jumped up and down and yelled,  “A Yeti has been here!”    Valuev walked over to him and confirmed the evidence.
This woman, Lillya Zelenkova, said Bigfoot woke her up in her tent, and wanted to have sex with her.  She didn’t go for it because, “I don’t like hairy men, though I was tempted.”

The Russian government has supported Bigfoot hunts – or Yeti – hunts.  Siberian officials this month sponsored an International Scientific-Practical Conference on Hominology.   Valdmir Putin himself joined several of the hunts. “I will find the Yeti and I will kill the Yeti,” Putin said.
The Bigfoot Hunters honed in this site:

Hominology, a still-unrecognized branch of biology that studies hairy upright walking creatures, is championed by a handful of Russian devotees who hope to spark a revolution in evolutionary theory by contacting one of the many tribes of Bigfoots they say are living undetected in woods around the world, including in North America and Russia.
Siberian officials issued a press release saying the three-day event this month turned up “irrefutable evidence” that such a creature—known to locals as a Snow Person—has been squatting in a Kemerovo cave 2,000 miles east of Moscow. Field trips into the surrounding mountains also turned up what they said were telltale signs of Yeti wanderings, such as bent and twisted branches, and underbrush that served as a bed.
Here’s the cave:

Local officials say they will now make efforts to contact the beast, who hasn’t yet been photographed. They will also begin funding a permanent center for Bigfoot research at Siberia’s Kemerovo State University.