"Why I Don't Watch Finding Bigfoot"

By Frank Cali Vice President Team Tracker

I watched maybe the first 3 or 4 shows and got disappointed very quickly. These shows are what the networks call "formula shows" They have a basic guide line script they follow and just plug in where they are each week.

 

The format is simple. (Open) previews of the "exciting " things on this weeks episode, then commercials and commercials and commercials.

 

Moneymaker is the head of the BFRO. An organization well gifted at charging people something like $500.00 a head to take them in the woods in search of Bigfoot. I've had some people who've gone on these "expeditions" tell me the BFRO is good at producing things for the clients to hear. What I'm saying is manufacture to make sure the paying customers get what they paid for. A yell or knock on a tree in the middle of the night. Maybe that's what BoBo did before he got on TV. Moneymaker had him in the bushes pretending he was Bigfoot to produce fake sounds in the night.

 

                            
                                           Matt Moneytaker, Renee Skeptic and James Boo Boo Faye

 

Next, the gang is seen driving in the SUV with the license plate blocked out. Cut to one of them, Moneymaker, Cliff, Renee or Bobo. They just happened to be talking to the others about where they are going, they mention a video they will be investigating , bla bla bla.

Next is the town hall meeting. There they talk and ask people gathered who have had and encounter or seen a Bigfoot. The camera pans around the room to show the people in the audience. Next, some go on camera and tell of what happened to them.  

 

(Another commercial, I mean commercial's. Lots of them)

 

Ok, they are now back from the ads and they go to the scene of the person's encounter. They say how tall the Bigfoot is and Bobo does his size comparison. I know several people who have met BoBo and they say he is not as tall as he claims. So, why is Finding Bigfoot saying that he is huge other than is tummy?

Next, after 20 more commercials, they return and do an on the spot ' investigation' of some of the worst all time fuzzy, blurry videos they can find on YouTube. The conclusions are always the same. They either tell the person that the video they submitted is not a Bigfoot because they are the "experts" or they can't prove anything one way or another. Of curse they try and recreate the video using Bobo again. See, having Bobo around comes in handy.

 

 

Of course there is the CGI of Bigfoot. That's the best thing on the show. It's not the Steven Spielberg or George Lucas type of animation, because that takes big bucks and Animal Planet shows are cheap.

 

Bigfoot are very intelligent beings. Does Moneymaker actually think Bigfoot(s) are going to come around a bunch of nuts banging on tress, yelling and screaming with a TV crew in tow with all kinds of TV camera lights? Oh, how we can forget the expedition on every show where one of them spends several days alone in the woods. That's the time to get up and go to the bathroom. You will see all kinds of leaves, tress, rocks, mud and of course, the best of all is BUGS. Now, that's entertainment.

 

The cast, now here we go. You have Matt Moneymaker, here's a guy with a super ego, extremely rude to his team mates, self important guy who thinks he knows ALL about Bigfoot, which is a laugh.  He must always have a cold, because he is always nose sniffing.

In one episode, he and Renee walk into cabin and Moneymaker says "THERE! that's where Bigfoot sleeps" Renee says "What makes you think that?" Moneymaker says "If I were a Bigfoot, I'd sleep right there, no question". The friction between him and her would start sparks big enough to blow someone back 100 feet or more. Kind of like watching the guy in front of you in an old Ford dragging his tail pipe for 10 miles on the highway.

Also on the "team" is Cliff, he was a teacher. We all know what teachers do. They talk and talk and talk. I bet you could call Cliff and leave the phone down on a table and when you come back in an hour to hang it up, he'd still be talking.

Cliff loves to do Bigfoot screams in his bathroom tub. Thank God, I don't live next to him. I can imagine if he does have any neighbors, the near heart attacks those screams would cause. I bet all the dogs in town dark all night when he sounds off, lol.

Next Renee, she is the shows skeptic. All those shows have to have a skeptic to show the audience  there is both pro and con to the subject. If Renee was on the Titanic and it was going down. She argue and say no it wasn't. She is the best looking one on the show. That is if you like Ernie on the old My 3 Sons TV show (see comparison below).

This is "Ernie" from "My 3 Sons photo below

Now Renee, see what I mean?

Finally we have BoBo. Who the hell named this guy that? Just what is a BoBo? Anyway, he seems like an alright guy with limited inelegance. He's the kind of guy who comes over to help you move and picks up your entire couch all by himself.

We can't forget the show's formula, did we? Nope we didn't. Before each commercial break. They always see something in the shadows. You always here "Wait! What was that? They cut to 20 more commercials and when they come back, they play the same scene again and you see what that was. It's always a squirrel, an owl, a deer or a rabbit. Your never going to see any Bigfoot on this show. Just the GCI ones.

One final thing. They also use some of the same music that you hear sometimes on the Ghost Hunters Show and others. That creepy sound that they always play after something allegedly happens. remember, these Animal Planet shows have little or no real budget. The motto is "Get it in the can as fast you you can"

Will Finding Bigfoot ever find Bigfoot. I think you have a better chance of dropping a nickle in a Dixie cup off of the Empire State building and having in fall right inside the cup. Maybe they really should change the name of the show to "NOT Finding Bigfoot?

 

"Wait! There's a Squatch out there"

Real translation should be "Wait! There's squat out there"